A week more...

I can't sleep, hence the hours.

Finally, the decision was made by her and she is ready to move on. She will be moving out next week along with the 2 pets we used to share; a rabbit and a more recent addition, a pomeranian.

I am so confused and down that I do not really know what to say, except sad. Despite whatever front I put up, it will never change the fact that I am simply sad over the fact that we have reached the end of our journey.

I know eventually I will have to move on, but as of now, it is hard... extremely hard. While I am sure that she feels somehow sad to, but I can't say I know for what reasons. Over the last couple of weeks, she has changed, a lot, and I barely knew her much anymore.

It is without a doubt I disliked her friends and her lady employer whom were the main reason we came to this, but of course, I am the still main reason why she left me. I knew that. I did blame myself.

I guess, no words will be good enough to describe how miserable I am feeling now. Being all alone after so many years with no one close enough to share your thoughts and feelings. I finally realized that while I am telling her to move on and don't back at the past, I am looking back at the past and am stuck there myself.

Perhaps in a week's time, after she moved out completely, we can both carry on with our life. The next 1 week will be the toughest yet. I know I will miss her... much... so much that I can't think of a work to describe just how much.

I wish for her happiness and health in the future, with or without me. I will probably not be able to face her anymore in the future, but if you are reading this, regardless of who you are and for what reason, please help me to pray for her safety and happiness. In return, I will pray for yours too.

Counting down,
andromedia.