As much as I would love to celebrate this meaningful day with her, I was devastated when she told me she is going on a trip to Kuala Selangor with him (and some other friends) tonight, coming back only tomorrow.
Many may think that I am not romantic. Fact is I admit to that. I used to be, at the very least. My past relationship changed me. Again, I am blaming anyone but just to put things straight why am I me today.
It's a really sad day. It felt like I have broke up with her again for the second time today. It hurts... it really hurts. It hurts so deep that I did my best to hold back tears.
While I am not exactly sure if what I did was right, but what I do know is that I don't really have a choice. She has stated that there will be no chance between us. She also mentioned that she is happy with him. What else need to be said?
With me, she rushes home after a quick dinner or drink, citing missing her pet dog as the reason. But when she is with her friends and/or him, she returns home late at night, only to pet her pet dog a little before going into her room to shower and sleep.
I don't know. I might be wrong. But she is happier with him rather than with me. Since that is already a fact, why am I still struggling to win her back, only to know that no matter what I do, it will not work? Her heart is dead, well, at least her feelings towards me is. Nothing in this world could change that.
The least I could do for her now is to give her my blessings; for her to find her happiness with someone who cares for her, love her unconditionally and protect her from all harm. She is a very naive and vulnerable girl. She has been protected and cared for all her life. As much as I wanted to see her being independent, she still need someone to guide her and protect her in the mean time.
On this Chinese Valentine's Day, I would like to renew my love for her and declare to the world how much I cared and loved her. I know she is gone, but only in person, never in memories.
I will still do my best to care and protect her in a distance. I can't be too involved anymore, not with my new status as an ex-boyfriend. As a guy, I know how much we dislike the fact that the person you love is seeing another guy whom is interested in winning your love's heart.
My love, please do take care of yourself always and may you find true happiness with him. I am sorry I have let you down all these years, but I just want you to know, I never did stop loving you. I will continue to love you, to care for you and to protect you from a distance to ensure you are safe from harm.
Happy Mooncake Festival and Happy Chinese Valentine's Day! Enjoy your trip with him...
Love always,
andromedia.
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