The first day...

Today marks the first day of my life after 7 years of being in a relationship, and tried to salvage the relationship.

A series or text messages thru and fro between me and her marks the end of our relationship. Trust me when I tell you that it hurts deeply. However, surprisingly, I shed no tears this time around. Yes, there were tears lingering at the corner of my eyes during the text-session, but as soon as it is over, so did the tears.

I realized that she was long gone before the conversation even begins. She only held on that long because she was worried of what I would have done if she left all of a sudden. Well, I did attempted to end my life.

Having a bad cough for the last couple of days, I decided to sleep in early yesterday, only to wake up to a bloody nose and even worse cough. I can even feel a little fever, with no appetite to eat. That is not good. I know it.

However, while I know that health is above everything else, I am still capable of working. I need to get things rolling and over and done with. There are simply too many outstanding and long overdue items which require my attention.

As long as I am still capable to sit in my office to finish them, I will. This is not because I am stubborn nor being a workaholic. It is the sense of responsibility. I am being entrusted with a task; to ensure the smooth operations of the Project Management Office and the general upkeep of the building. I will ensure that the trust vested in me are worthwhile.

Coming to think of it, 7 years has gone by and I felt bad that I barely knew her anymore. Maybe I have been trying to hard to change her into someone better, someone I wanted. That's wrong. Despite the fact she can use a little improvement, my method is wrong.

I don't really know her as well as I think I do. This is simply sad. Being with someone for 7 years and you don't even know what's her favorite food, her favorite color, her favorite soft toy...

Unfortunately, everything has come to an end and it is too late for me to do anything about it.

I wish for nothing but happiness for her in her love and life. May she find someone who knows how to love her like I never did and treasure her like how I would if I was being given a second chance.

Her new life just begun and there is much for her to face. She has been protected to a certain extend all her life. I hope she will be continued to be protected while learning on how to be independent.

I will always be there for her whenever she needs me...

Truly me,
andromedia